Wednesday, October 30, 2013

he is the best thing? did he?

hari ni aku private kan acc blog aku supaya aku sorang je boleh baca dan mngarut swg2.. ahha!

today i made a mistake. huge mistake i guess.

i'm start to falling in love with someone. i know i shouldn't do it.
but my heart pounds everything he text me.
he lots of caring. supportive. happiness.
but i'm just afraid to fall again.
afraid to lose somebody.
i should be strong.

sigh* ponder*

i shouldn't fall in love. i shouldn't fall in love. i shouldn't fall in love.

keep my dream to study abroad. i don't think i can make it. T.T

i know someday i will leave him. just like a man before.

easily for me to falling in love right?
how i miss my past. but i have to let it go. throw away that memories.
because i don't want my past. i want my future.

sometimes parent talk about marriage, i feel like, ouuuwii! i like to heard that.

unfortunately, im afraid of that thing.
everybody keep saying that marriage is full of happiness.
but the one thing i keep thinking is responsible.
i hate this feeling, really hate this feeling.
please, dear love, please go away for a while.
i promise to you, you can come back after i ready to face it, again.

i can't keep my promise to love you forever.

how to do it? how to deal with it?

life full of sadness.

back to religion, keep pray to Allah, my Lord.
well, Alhamdulilah thanks Allah for giving me this love feeling i really appreciate it.

love is so complicated.

i don't want to hurt anybody heart anymore.

Friday, October 25, 2013

Thursday, October 24, 2013

Monday, October 21, 2013

it's 3.51PM

life sometimes can be so boring, sometimes so excited.

how about my life? always up side down.

Friday, October 18, 2013


nchafact#1: I don't like to wear shawl.

because it's wasting my time.

and sometimes i get choked while wearing it.

It's tonight.

Malam ni tak ade ape cerita banyak pun. menyesali diri sebab lately asik bangun lewat, tidur lewat. ape pun lewat. oh! what will happen to me next?

i updated my status this evening, and it's "Just received a called from my supervisor and Alhamdulilah my application was successful. Currently waiting for an offer letter. — feeling excited."

syukur lah. but now I'm waiting for an offer letter. yes, then next stage, apply for scholarship. hihi. I'm feeling so excited. never give up on my life for now. never, ever, ever.. hehe..

Alhamdulilah, walaupun offer tak ade lah gempaq mana, but a girl like, bile dapat tawaran mcm ni, syukur sgt. someday i will become a researcher. in sha Allah. hey, i have a big dream to study abroad, dont forget about it. usaha penting. jgn gv up dan jgn terus melakukan perkara yang sia-sia. berdoa pada Allah, supaya hidup ini diberkati, meminta pertolongan pada Allah. walaupun Dia atur hidup kite mcm ni, but still kita masih ade peluang utk mengubahnya dengan memohon pada Allah. kita yg buat silap, bukan Allah. do remember that.

well, hoping tomorrow morning dapat bangun awal dan study. sbb skrg life mmg up side down. haha.

cuba utk bangun jam 8 pg, or atleast after subuh, dont fall sleep yet.
cuba utk study start at 9 am.
cuba amalkan sembahyang Dhuha.

jgn malas.
in sha Allah.. the future belongs to those who prepared it TODAY!

goodnight then.

Tuesday, October 8, 2013


Alhamdulilah, my second meeting with my supervisor running smoothly. hihi.. I'm now surrounding with intellectual person, which are research officer, future lecture and others. I'm glad for who I am now. Just feeling glad, not yet proud. this is my opportunity to develop my self into the world. Surrounding with intellectual people, make me feel enthusiastic. They really inspired me. someday I will stand on the top of the world. living a life like this make me feel so energetic. well, i still keep my dream to study abroad. in sha Allah. Phd still waiting for me. who know perhaps someday i will become one of the most leading person in whole world. in sha Allah again. i learn, i learn and i learn. Allah always there for me. lets think, Allah give me a body, a soul then why waste it? be someone useful. not useless.

*i need to get improve of my english phrase. tee hee~

Monday, October 7, 2013


Tonight I've try something new - I'm try to roll a coin (20cent) across my knuckles.
say what? then now you know how boring I am stay in home. hahha!
how the idea to roll a coin comes tonight? well, actually im currently listen to the script song. when i watched their MV, i was drawn to know how to play a piano. then, i started to search on youtube 'how to play a piano.' suddenly, i has seen a few comments stated below, they say u must have to learn how to roll a coin first. so, that comment bring me to 'how to roll a coin across my knuckles.' well, i'm still under progress. and hope, i can do it perfectly. hahah! ok bai.

another boring day for today. ^-^)v

Friday, October 4, 2013

concert wannabe

kesian kite baru tahu mende ni today.

gile! a place i want to go. tak tahu why lately tibe2 rasa nk g concert.
well, i never been go to any concert before. how sadly.
ala, just for an experience kan? just once, probably. 
hihihi. my friend try to get a ticket for me. but it's quite expensive.
its ok lah. kalau dapat, dpt lah, kalau tak.. hhihii.. senyum saje.
but i love one republic. i heard almost of their songs.
but i much prefer to go maroon5 or muse. 
so, if tak dapat nevermind lah. hihi.. 

i hope it will be amazing! hihihi..:)

feeling bless*

Back to Saturday, December 29, 2012. there i wrote: i don't want my life to be sad sha Allah. i'm currently in process to further my study in UPM. syukur sangat-sangat. Allah perkenankan doaku. Alhamdulilah, a day before I went to Jakarta, i got a called from my friend which is my ex supervisor while im doing my final diploma project in usm. he offered me a master research in upm. again, master research! that what i aim for. I will do my best. ya Allah, it is like a miracle. because, i never thought i can get any chance after i let go two offers from unimas and uitm. it all sudden. berkat solat istikarah probably. put all trust in Allah, and He will reward you the best. this is my chance, not the only chance, but it's really big chance for me. anything happen for a reason. 

Life needs changing.

I pray to Allah, to get a husband. and I hope He will grant it.

haha! then i wrote here. yurp, that what i need the most.

no, no. i still need knowledge. that what i need the most.

sumpah demi bulan, sumpah demi bintang, semua jadi saksi cintaaaaaa....
rindunya nak jatuh cinta lagi sekali. :)

The future belongs to those who prepared it today.

I wish my future, dunia akhirat, will be shine. in sha Allah.

Thursday, October 3, 2013


N.Y cinta
I love this movie so much! but, i hate the ending. aih? mcm tu je?
then dgn si johan yg like a pfffttthh! i hate him. ape lah.. nonsense.
but the best part, when Mia in NY. how she falling in love with Seth.
i love Seth, but he such a loser. but, in the end, he try to move on and change his faith after falling in love with Mia. lg seronok kalau die boleh tnjk Seth tu berjaya. he js fly from NY to Msia js to explain to mia about sarah. that's it? cinta sakan kau. haha. well, that probably the best part. try to change  ur self, for your love one. how lovely. kita bukan bercinta cuma hanya utk nafsu. tp kalau someone tu boleh buat kite berubah utk lebih baik, itu adalah yg terbaik sbnrnye.

i try this b4. to change my ex attitude. unfortunately, still he going down. so, the best thing is to let him go.

well, i love me. now and forever.
this movie makes me want to further my study in New York. no just NY, but i want to explore west side. in sha Allah. i will work hard to achieve my dream! :)